It’s no secret that I haven’t felt particularly victorious in my life right now. I am struggling to shake that failing feeling, and this past week didn’t help. I started a new job that requires more time (time I don’t have), I began a mathematics course in school (my weakest subject, by far), and I have been pretty ill the past six days. The illness really sucked because, as I mentioned in my previous post, my life has no pause button right now. Everything is a MUST DO, and it all must be done by me. I only had 32% to give this week, but I worked hard to give 100% of that to school, both jobs, and my aunt. [Totally failed the latter, by the way… I, unfortunately, overheard a discouraging conversation.]

I felt so bad by midweek that both bosses insisted I stay home until I received a negative Covid test. Although I loved the thought of possibly being able to rest, I worried about losing a full day’s pay and felt like I was abandoning my babies at school – I never miss days. But I took the day, tested negative, and still feeling like trash, went back to work the next day.

When the first kiddo saw me, his face lit up; he ran towards me at full speed and jumped in my arms! That reaction continued throughout the day. They acted as if I’d been gone for weeks. They told me about how different it was without me there; one even compared it to a funeral. Then after snack, our director asked me to sit down, which was an odd request. And once I sat down, my babies came up, one by one, with handwritten cards, letters, and hugs!

I couldn’t help but think about the “You’re doing great!” note from the trainer a couple of weeks ago. Only this was that moment, multiplied by a thousand! My kiddos thought I was doing a great job! They felt loved and cared for when I was there! They didn’t want days without me! So, when I overheard a venomous conversation complaining about all the things I should be doing better, I was okay. Because right in front of me were twenty brightly colored notes of love and appreciation!

My wise friend, Lauren, calls me a “recovering perfectionist and striving good-enoughist,” and I must agree. In a season of life when perfection is off the table, the good-enough moments are LIFE. To my babies, I’m unquestionably good enough! … which makes aiming for perfection seem silly.

Just a few…