Tonight, I am melancholy. I’d love to tell you why, but I’m not quite sure myself. A heavy swell of emotions from some under-exposed cavern of my heart has been bubbling up all day. I could brush them off when I was busy helping a loved one run errands, but the minute I was alone again, there they were, pulling at me with feverish desperation. As I glanced at the “Self-Care” journal I’d bought earlier today, it occurred to me that I haven’t done anything special for myself in a while. Maybe a little self-care would quiet my heart’s cry.
Read moreHappy Birthday
I wrote this poem many years ago for someone born in this month. I never had the opportunity – or possibly the courage – to share it with them. But lately, I seem to have no shortage of courage, so I shall share it with all of you… And just in case he ever visits this blog, Happy Birthday!
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B-
Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might wanna turn your head
'Cause someday you might find you're starving
And eating all of the words you just said
~Ani Difranco, 32 Flavors
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Stroke Zone
Hi, Dear Reader! It is not lost on me that I failed to post to my blog last Sunday; I am deeply apologetic! I had a very disheartening and woefully frightening doctor’s appointment, and I took the week to reflect on the changes I need to make.
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Silence the Critics – Without & Within
The Man In The Arena
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt
When I first read these powerful words years ago, I could barely catch my breath. I thought of all the times I stood in certain “arenas” of life bloodied and exhausted while those around spewed shallow critiques from the safety of distant stands.
Read moreBroken Bit #78
All my life, I’ve had an unhealthy fear and loathing of mistakes and regret. As a result, I rarely experience deep pains more than once – I make sure of it. This sounds like it could be a helpful quality, but in actuality, it has kept me from exploring the unknown. In many cases, I’ve allowed the pain of regret to shape and define me – a quality I desperately desire to shed.
As a little kid, my father was my superhero! I was a daddy’s girl all the way, and I lived on his lap. Of course, there were couches, chairs, the floor, but if he was in the room, that’s where I planted myself. It’s where I felt most safe and loved. It’s the only aspect of my personality that anyone could consider “needy,” otherwise, I was fiercely independent.
Read moreGroup Therapy
I spent this past week finishing out the final days of the school year, organizing, packing, planning, saying LOTS of unexpectedly sad goodbyes, and having zero moments of rest between. Quite honestly, I’m far too tired to write tonight. Even if I weren’t so exhausted, my mind has had to process so many opposing emotions that I need time to compute it all.
As you all know, I LOVE to hear from YOU!!! So, please feel free to share anything bubbling on the inside – anything at all – and I will add it to the post for everyone to read and comment. I’m super excited about this!
I promise that I will try to write a moderately riveting post sometime this week.
Evangeline
A few weeks ago, I had the great honor of teaching the 4th-grade Poetry unit. I was beyond excited! When I walked into each of our two 4th grade classes, the students were less than thrilled about the idea of writing poetry. One class actually booed when asked how they felt about starting the unit. I enthusiastically explained my own emphatic love for written word and read a poem that I’d created just for them. I told them that the rap music they listen to is simply poetry with a beat. It was fun watching their little faces absorb that information.
Read moreSyzygy
A lunar eclipse occurs when the Moon moves into the Earth's shadow. This can occur only when the Sun, Earth, and Moon are exactly or very closely aligned (in syzygy) with Earth between the other two, and only on the night of a full moon.
Syzygy • \SIZ-uh-jee\ • noun: the nearly straight-line configuration of three celestial bodies (such as the sun, Moon, and Earth during a solar or lunar eclipse) in a gravitational system.
I crawled out of bed after maybe two hours of sleep, grabbed a blanket, and hurried out into the chilly early morn to watch the “Super Flower Blood Moon” Lunar Eclipse. The California sky was crystal clear, graciously granting front row seats to the ethereal display. The show had barely begun, but already the Moon shone big, bright, and beautiful.
Read moreEven Sharks Need A Safe Place
“When you find a safe place to unravel, when you feel the arms of eternity wrapping tight around you – you stay. You don’t run and hide, or turn and fight. You stay there.” –Elizabeth Maxon
“You have to sleep!” I pleaded.
“I know, babe, I’m trying. I just can’t.”
“It’s been like four days. You’re gonna get sick.”
“I don’t feel good now.”
“Then you should at least talk about whatever’s on your mind.”
“It’s a lot.” He sounded exhausted just thinking about it.
“Well, I’m listening.”
“Sigh… I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
“I’m really worried about you.”
“I know, sweetheart.… Can I come over?”
“. . . “
“Just for a little while. I just need to see you.”
“What about the rules?”
“I know your rules; I just really need to see you. I won’t stay long. I won’t even touch you.”
“… Okay, come on.”
Broken Bits 