“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” -J.M. Barrie

Yesterday I spent my first Thanksgiving alone, less than two weeks after spending my 40th birthday alone… This year, right?

Shockingly, my birthday was possibly the best of my entire life. But Thanksgiving worried me. It’s my favorite holiday, and the most important part is being surrounded by family, friends, love, and laughter. How does one celebrate friends and family all alone? However, by the afternoon, I was in a great mood, roasting a turkey for one and caramelizing Brussels sprouts. I felt so grateful for everything I had! Yes, I was alone; but I was also healthy during a pandemic, working at the best job of my life and learning how to see God in every moving piece around me.

I was enjoying a Siddharthian moment and couldn’t think of a single need that I didn’t already possess. And then the most unexpected thing happened, my dear friend, Jaaly, called. I generally feel about phone calls the way most people feel about oral surgery, so the ringing of my cell is always jarring. But this call was different. You know how you can’t see what you need until you receive it? How something that was outside the realm of your expectations can fill unrecognized empty spaces within? That’s what this call did.

As Jaaly’s family was sitting down to dinner and preparing to give thanks, the most amazing thing happened; she thought about me, at home alone. When I answered the phone, I was greeted with so much love by her entire family – a family I’d never met before. They introduced themselves and willingly – if not happily – passed the phone from person to person while each one said what they’re thankful for. And as if the moment wasn’t magical enough, they opened the floor to me, a complete stranger, to share with family all that I was thankful for this year.

It wasn’t my family, but my heart couldn’t tell. I learned that I didn’t actually need my family; I needed loving-kindness, consideration, togetherness, and sincere human connection – as we all do.  We inadvertently create these sects and boundaries in our lives because of societal norms and fear of emotional discomfort. But, what would happen if we broaden our ‘family’ base, not just to those we grew up with, or others who are just like us, but to those who, at that moment, just happen to need family?

I think about all the souls that surrendered their lives on earth because, although there are seven billion people on this globe, they felt alone. I can’t imagine the numerous times those working with, living with, or walking by these lonesome souls had opportunities to express selfless love and understanding but didn’t want to overstep their bounds or merely failed to notice them. We aren’t as separate as we think nor alone as we feel. Small sacrifices of time and consideration can change the lives of others as well as our own… just a thought.

I am forty-years-old and have had countless phone conversations; I don’t think a single other has meant as much to me as the call from Jaaly and her family on Thanksgiving Day, 2020.