Hi, Dear Reader! It is not lost on me that I failed to post to my blog last Sunday; I am deeply apologetic! I had a very disheartening and woefully frightening doctor’s appointment, and I took the week to reflect on the changes I need to make.

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Upon arrival in Cleveland, I was to begin my summer job almost immediately. But first, I needed to get a physical since I’d be working with little ones. During my examination, I learned that my blood pressure was pretty darn high. Having never had issues with my blood pressure before, I was highly disturbed.

The doctor asked questions regarding my life habits and stress level. I told her of my career change, loss of salary, selling/donating all my belongings, solo cross-country trek, months of near sleeplessness, and current momentary displacement. She asked if I’d made any efforts to relax or recuperate after so many changes… and I had no answer.

After a lengthy tongue-lashing about “self-care” [I can’t seem to escape that term], she suggested that I come back to make sure that the high reading wasn’t a fluke. So, I came back a week later and found that my blood pressure had risen to what she called “THE STROKE ZONE.” And so, I had the absolute worst reaction and FREAKED OUT!!!

I didn’t understand how I went from never having been diagnosed with blood pressure issues to being told that it was so high that I was in danger of a STROKE! I thought I was doing a better job! I was trying to take better care of myself – wasn’t I?

Then I gave serious thought to the past couple of months… My amazing friends in California were so supportive and offered to help with my move, and I consistently turned them down. So, I did 98% of the work alone when I didn’t have to. I drove 27 hours straight from Salt Lake City to Cleveland instead of stopping to rest and sleep.

I didn’t give myself time to rest between coming off the road and beginning a full-time job working with energetic children. And I forgot how terrible my allergies and sinuses are when I’m in Ohio, so I was swallowing Pseudoephedrine, Benadryl, and Zyrtec like they were Almond M&M’s! (they’re my favorite)

I was the reason why my body had reached a breaking point! I’d been so proud of the seemingly grand steps I’d taken toward prioritizing myself that I rested on those laurels, thinking they were enough to right the gross imbalance of self-neglect I’d sown. I thought I’d ran a marathon when, in actuality, the starting line was a mere few yards behind.

So, with great fear and frustration, I must re-evaluate my life – again.

Ugh… Life is hard!